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Little in Japan

Via the forums, a great comic on being an eikaiwa teacher: Little in Japan.

Excellent stuff.



They've just post another strip.

So hilarious and so sad. It's my life...

Love the comic! Certainly exposes eikaiwa as the RAT CIRCUS it is (or rather was).

Definition of eikaiwa: A system of foreign language teaching which enables people who are 'nothing' to think they are 'something'.

Well, if eikaiwa really achieved that, it might be worth forking out money for. Unfortunately, I am inclined to think almost the reverse is the case:

"a system of language teaching which allows people who are something to believe they are nothing".

Everyone has talents and abilities which if a) applied sincerely and b) chanelled in the right way can lead to positive effects. The problem in eikaiwa was that you had sincere people on both sides of the learning fence being taken for a ride, which is the reason why today there is so much animosity towards the whole thing.

Eikaika is certainly proving to be a phenomenon. It can turn little nobodies into fake somebodies (as in Karisma man, the trainer who thinks he is on track to the executive suite, and the socially bloody-awkward student who 'buys' a social life by going to eikaiwa).

On the other hand, it can take sincere and talented people (somebodies) and squeeze the life out of them to make them nobodies (a performing monkey complete with organ grinder).

Will the wonders ever cease?

Love the comic! Certainly exposes eikaiwa as the RAT CIRCUS it is (or rather was).

I don't think the writer is really having a go at eikaiwa at all. The Japanese managers aren't portrayed as deranged or incompetent, the western area manager is more sinned against than sinning - he doesn't appear to be doing anything overtly crappy - and it kind of glosses over issues like what goes on in lessons, how students get ripped off and piss-poor pay and conditions.

That latest cartoon is taking the piss out of the foreign teachers. I like the idea of having a young party animal and a jaded veteran living together, although I think he needs to develop the jaded veteran character more, beyond just being a grumpy old man. People like that tend to be middle-aged, misfit weirdos. He needs to bring that out more.

Too true, middle-aged weirdos that sit behind their computer all day, trolling and spamming English teaching in Japan websites.

Re: middle-aged, misfit weirdos.

You guys have summed me up!
(I don't troll though, but I do have major eikaiwa issues. You'd have never guessed, huh?)

Isn’t the title “Little in Japan” offensive?

Eikaiwa teachers are anything but “Little”.

They have the illustrious and honorific title of Sensei.

The non-Japanese male Eikaiwa Sensei also tends to be better endowed, that his Japanese counterpart (providing fringe benefits to both company and employee).

And yes, the non-Japanese female Eikaiwa Sensei also usually has bigger boobs and a bigger ass than her Japanese counterpart (also providing a valuable point of curiosity, to the company).

In general, the male Eikaiwa worker enjoys (at least for a period of time), the affections and attention put forward by his Japanese female students.

In general, the female Eikaiwa worker, does not find the male Japanese students advances anywhere near as alluring or appetising.

Is there anyone who can give an academic reason for this strange phenomenon?

Perhaps the Japanese guys are intimidated because of their small penises. Plus they're not used to handling big boobs and fat bum cheeks in Japan.

I was hoping for a more academic reply.

"Perhaps the Japanese males suffer feelings of inadequacy, due to the diminutive size of their sex organ, especially when compared to the much larger size of Caucasian sex organs in general."

Is that more academic?

I fully appreciate the tidier presentation of your line of thought.

But the reality is, that Japanese men are also quite forward and lecherous, when it comes to Western Women.

It’s more of a matter of the Japanese male, in general, not generating the same sexual appeal, in Western Women, that the Japanese Women do in Western Men.

In general, in terms of sexual attraction:

Japanese women are attracted to Western Men, and are forward in expressing that attraction, and it results in a high frequency of sexual intercourse / intimate behavior / exchange of bodily fluids.

Japanese men are attracted to Western Women, and are also forward in expressing that attraction, and yet the frequency of sexual intercourse / intimate behavior / exchange of bodily fluids, is staggeringly less.

Your hypothesis?

Men are like dogs.

End of.

One could write a thesis on the subject, touching on cultural differences in sexual behavior / expectations, the universal differences between men and women, and the differences between the roles that the sexes play in the West compared with Japan, but actually, that is probably what it all boils down to, hence the one sentence, followed by END OF.

I think many women enjoy having their furry cups drank from, but certainly, that enjoyment is greatly surpassed by male appetite for it.

In a unique atmosphere (like that which prevails in Eikaiwa), where the possibility of that kind of thirst quenching is greatly enhanced, courtesy of inflamed curiosity caused by cultural and physical differences, the greater sexual appetite and primitive nature of the Western male, relative to that of the Western Woman, most certainly can be documented.

Men are in fact, like dogs.

There's an interesting phenomena that nobody mentions, but is nevertheless true. Women in any society, who conform to the general physionomical, physiological and physical type generally appear to be more attractive. Thus one Japanese girl, walking down Oxford Street, surrounded by taller, blonder, bustier ladies is not going to appeal to a man's eye, as much as she is, when she's walking along Kawaramachi Dori, surrounded by girls of a similar physical type. And so it is, for Westen women in Japan - they can appear lanky, out of shape, gangly, and graceless, on a Japanese street, but look quite presentable on, say, the streets of Sydney.

I disagree (unless I have not fully understood what you are saying).

The Japanese girl (thin, like girls in magazines), a stand out, walking down Oxford Street, will get more mental attention from a Western Male (as a point of curiosity), than the average run of the mill Western woman would get, AND if she walked along Kawaramachi Dori, she would receive less from the predominant male nationality – the Japanese men - than she would from Western men).

In Western Society, women who are very thin and small busted (but none the less, with perky tits) ARE in fact rare – which is why men value them so much, and also why western women who are not truly liberated aspire to have that body shape.

In Japanese Society, blonde, big bobbed, fat bottomed girls, carrying a little winter fat, are RARE, hence Japanese men’s attraction to them, hence the prevalence of Snack Bars which specialise in hiring Western Woman with that fuller body shape.


If short supply suddenly becomes UNLIMITED supply (a western male, suddenly finding himself living in Japan), the male thinks he is in heaven (thin chicks everywhere), for a period of time, and then grows tired of it (hence the higher than average Western male patronage of Japanese “Fat Girl” Snack Bars, and the change over the long term, in Western males living in Japan, back to a sexual preference for Western Women).

I think Oxford Street Sydney is a bad example to use.

One of the theories with regards to the existence of homosexuality in men is that gay men have a much higher appetite for sexual relief / sexual release (unmatched by the male heterosexual population, and certainly infinitely above the sexual hunger of women).

The theory being:

Extremely insatiable = least path to resistance is to copulate with people of similar appetite = sexual relations with men.

If you are truly insatiable, then the most efficient way to get regular sexual relief is to focus your sexual energy and attentions on people who are similarly extremely sexually ravenous (eg: other truly insatiable men, whose sexual appetites leave both heterosexual men and women, behind in their wakes).

It is just a theory, of course, but it does make some sense.

Point is, however, that any woman walking along Oxford Street, is unlikely to get much attention from the predominant male population.

In Western Society, women who are very thin and small busted (but none the less, with perky tits) ARE in fact rare – which is why men value them so much, and also why western women who are not truly liberated aspire to have that body shape.

I must say, I used to think the ONLY breasts were the fulsome ones that you see oh-so-often on a trip down Oxford Street, and looked down on those pancake-chested, skinny types. But having spent a few years in Japan, whilst still enjoying the buxom type, I have developed a penchant for those small yet cute and perky knockers you see on many a Japanese hottie down Kawaramachi Dori on a Saturday afternoon. Something about the slim body type and shape that sets my antenna flashing, and turns me into a ravenous, thirsty dog....


Agree to both Dame Bracket and comment below. Both are correct. But commenter below probably describes it more comprehensively. Supply and demand. I.e. social value. When supply is limited, then social value will increase, and its true after some time, some foreign men may grow tired of the novelty and yearn for old familiarities!

Good point. Many ancient societies and modern one's now are a testament to that. Homosexuality is the preference in many societies today, it is just not presented as such.

It takes this subject to spark up the old LJ. Oh well, I'll just enter me comment and then watch my video featuring young women in swimsuits. Japan may have changed, but the girls, lordly loo, just KEEP GETTING HOTTER!!!

W Women have a hard time picking up men because the J men are circumspect for the most part. When said finally express and get their desire, however, they just want to run through the same stuff that they saw in some porno and the W female feels degraded and doesn't want to pretend otherwise.

Compare to the the W man and the J woman. There is less circumspection and when the male get's his way he runs through the same stuff that he saw in some porno and the J woman pretends she loves it. That's really the only difference.

Western woman in Japan: No sex - frustration - yummy and readily available food - getting FATTER - male friends having sex - jealousy - eat more - cannot buy clothes here - frustration - unhappy - starts to get bitter - eat more - loud mouth - attempt to build power base - getting FATTER (repeat cycle).

Not exactly sure why, but plenty J-Male acquaintances have confessed in my presence to Loving the Babushkas.

I've seen older salarymen round Tokyo with fit, young, blonde Russian girls holding their arm. They obviously meet them in hostess bars, the older guy gets to have a hot young girl, while she gets looked after well, and access to plenty of cash.

White blonde girls are most definitely exotic in Japan, hence the J-males fascination with them.

I had a meeting once with a Russian woman, married a Japanese guy after their economy crashed. The ex-wife (Japanese) just bolted and left a lot of stuff. The Russian lady was wearing some of her accessories, and did not mind telling me about it. I though that was PRETTY DAMN COOL! Good luck to any Russian woman who gets a Japanese man; opposites attract. Such marriages might stand a better chance than Japanese men marring Australian, UK, US etc women, as the divorce rate for these marriages is extraordinary!

In my observation, the patronage of Russian courtesans, as a preference, is based on the common theme being discussed in here, AND additionally, on the deteriorating economic conditions in Japan.

The Japanese men are attracted to them, not because they are Russian, but because they have fuller bodies, and fair hair, and BECAUSE they are CHEAPER.

Considerable cost savings are realized, relative to the price of the North American ladies, who used to have a more dominant presence during the heady days of the Bubble Economy.

That says it all, really. The main point is that they are hookers. That is, you make the down payment and then they can't complain if you spend the next three hours gazing at their toosh (or whatever the Russian word is) through a microscope.

The Russian word for the pink lipped forbidden apple is actually “piz’da”.

Please note it.

Moving on, the professional status of the woman, regardless of nationality, is not relevant to the reasons why the man finds that particularly nationality / body shape preferable to what is more readily available to him, to begin with.

Must remember that the next time a need a drink from a Russian ho's furry cup.

Moving on, the professional status of the woman, regardless of nationality, is not relevant to the reasons why the man finds that particularly nationality / body shape preferable to what is more readily available to him, to begin with.

Get real. Your typical Aussie pro in Japan is just a little girl lost compared to these Russuan Gals. They know exactly who they are, what they are doing and why and they look European to boot. Perfect.

Just got this mail. It includes:

Dear **********,

Welcome to the Interac Alumni Network - our new network to keep-in-touch with former employees around the world. We hope you are well and have settled back in your home country and you still have fond memories of your time in Japan. We are starting this group which we believe will be of interest to you. We plan to send you a newsletter at least once every month by email. If you do not wish to receive this newsletter click on the link at the bottom of this email.

In this first edition we would like to enlist your help in our search for new ALTs for 2012 and to help UNICEF, the United Nations Children's Fund.
Helping UNICEF and the children of Japan

Recommend your friends to apply for a position at Interac between1 November 2011 and 31 May2012 and if your friends are contracted by 31 August 2012 and work for a qualifying three calendar month period they will be counted towards a donation of up to JPY500,000 (US$6,500) to the UNICEF, the United Nations Children's Fund, for continuing relief efforts in the earthquake effected zones of northern Japan. Click here for more information.

Makes me wish I believed in God because then I could be safe in the knowledge that SCUM who use UNICEF to lure people in to work for crap exploitative companies would BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately I'm an atheist.

Using the monumental tragedy of the Tsunami and aligning themselves with UNICEF as bait?

If you work for them – immediately resign – and if you don’t, then you are as low as they are.

If you are considering working for them, then, OBVIOUSLY, don’t.


Is that for real? Contact me and, with your permission, I will make it into a separate post.



It be real alright. It came to my regular account, so I am reluctant to foreword it on. Hundreds of these things must have been sent, so in the mean time, I'll check LJ occasionally, and if nobody helps you out, then we'll work something out.


Ex interac monkey man!

I don't understand your reluctance. What are you afraid of? If you still worked for them maybe some caution would be advisable but if you have quit I am pretty sure you are beyond their reach.

Unless they have secret agent working in countries all across the world just like Mossad or the KGB?

How about you stump up the UNICEF money first? And show us the receipts as well.

Shawn, in the interests of getting the email up on this site, and me venting my spleen, I tried to forward to another of my addresses, but this did not work too well (nothing personal, but I don't want to contact LJ directly, if people think I am paranoid, then too bad). Anyway, I can use my lovely snipping tool, and send the pictures of the (what could be considered as) highly unethical and somewhat desperate escapades of this company that continues to flout Japanese law (sorry, I'll save myself for when the post is up and running).

PS. Although I am clearly bitter and twisted, I really don't have time for this, but will make an effort as I think LJ is still PRETTY COOL!

Sorry forgot (damn red wine) I don't have an email address for LJ, and don't see how I can upload an image!

I'm sure the webmaster won't give away your personal details to anyone. Unless there's a way of identifying you in these pictures or email you speak of, or something that could incriminate Shawn, then post away!!

Come on, you've got everyone on the edge of their seats now, don't torment us any more!!

I call that nice bit of trolling.

Aw, come on guys! Talk about peer pressure! Don't you have any friends that worked for interac who received one of these things??

So as to appease the natives (who are getting quite restless - TROLL my butt!) I have sent a message to our beloved Shawn (with an address that works that is not my primary one - call me obsessive if you like but I don't give a tinker's cuss) and when he replies, I will send him pictures of my screen.

Bye bye

Mystery man

"if your friends are contracted by 31 August 2012 and work for a qualifying three calendar month period they will be counted towards a donation of up to JPY500,000"

cos it could be construed that if I, as an individual joined the racket, they'd donate 500,000 yen to UNICEF. Nothing of the sort, in reality, as they don't say what the criteria would be, for them making that donation (Probably if 10,000 teachers joined, and offered to work for free, knowing INTERAC).

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